stylesheet.rel = "stylesheet"; We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. window.Mobvious.device_type = 'mobile'; Life is a zero sum game. George Carlin, 36. Don't forget: YOU have the power to make ANYTHING happen. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, 13. Disgusting that people still make that argument that we can never cut defense but we can cut education. 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If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George Carlin. God has a three-day weekend.George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. Continue with Recommended Cookies. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, 4. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldnt afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. You have owners. You have no choice. a[a9]._Q.push([c, r]) Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time, George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. George Carlin, 31. } I dont believe anything the government tells me., Governments dont want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. Comedian The late great comedian George Carlin has many great quotes about life and society, here are some of them. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. Then you live in an old age home. George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. George Carlin, 23. " George Carlin Quotes "Most of the country was founded by slave owners so they could be free. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. Who the fuck is going to invade the US? Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. George Carlin, 5. Goalcast inspires the world through stories. Carlin and his "Seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("surface", "mw"); There is a mistake in the text of this quote. Carlin certainly aimed to provoke, but its the why and how of it that made him so exceptional. Did you ever stop to think about all the people we kill? A.async = !0; The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14stand-up comedy specials on HBO taught us the power of words and how a person can use humor as a weapon. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. George Carlin, 87. If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. I hate groups of people. Teach them to question everything. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? Before, all you had to go by were these 14 quotes. Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. I hate a group of people with a common purpose. if (window.csa) { Witty George Carlin Quotes 1. And apparently Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.George Carlin, Im completely in favor of theseparation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enoughon their own, so both of them together iscertain death.George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.George Carlin, If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Its important in life if you dont give a shit. I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. Some people see things that are, and ask, why? While some of his views may not be popular among the masses, he does make an interesting point when it comes to government. Deal with it. George Carlin, One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another. George Carlin, 69. url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_hd_images-2b89833762f600506d44865a33582d11.css"; Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, 3. When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. Nothing changed.George Carlin, Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?George Carlin, I think its the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("signedin", "false"); (?) Below youll find the best collection of George Carlin quotes. The only country that could invade America is America! As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. George Carlin, 74. Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. They own, and control the corporations. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. gads.src = (useSSL ? init: function() { When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. var stylesheet = document.createElement("link"); It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. George Carlin, 60. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. That is against their interests. He loves you. I'm the Founder of SucceedFeed.com and I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my posts and being apart of the Succeed Feed community. 8 George Carlin Quotes On Death That Will Make You Think! !function(){function n(n,t){var r=i(n);return t&&(r=r("instance",t)),r}var r=[],c=0,i=function(t){return function(){var n=c++;return r.push([t,[].slice.call(arguments,0),n,{time:Date.now()}]),i(n)}};n._s=r,this.csa=n}(); Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin's Estate, via HBO. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I, myself, have killed six people. What do you get at the end of it? } Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them. The planet is fine. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. Use your fucking heads! Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? If the parent corporation doesnt want you to know something, it wont be on the news. he must of been a brilliant man mostly misunderstood by most people wish i would of met him in person one on one, 51 Best John Muir Quotes On Nature, Mountains, Trees, 50 To Kill A Mockingbird Atticus Quotes With Page Numbers, Happy Birthday Nephew Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Happy Birthday Daughter Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Good Morning Happy Monday Images With Quotes, Wishes, Cute & Romantic Happy Birthday Love Images For Him, Her, Happy Birthday Dog Images With Quotes For Your Puppy, Happy Birthday Niece Images With Wishes, Messages, Quotes, Depression Quotes Images | Feeling Sad Pictures, Wallpaper, Happy Birthday Son Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Happy Birthday Husband Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages For Hubby, Good Morning Quotes Images To Make Your Day Beautiful. I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen. " George Carlin Quotes The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.'. "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music." - George Carlin 4. Ever. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. We are in a country, and in a world that is run by people who brainwash , . He loves you and he needs money. You will do things in the name of a group that you would never do on your own. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain, All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another, "It's harder to be funny from the position of power. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. 4. // George Carlin, Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?George Carlin, Electricity is really just organized lightningGeorge Carlin, Would a fly without wings be called a walk?George Carlin, There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. I've set my own rules to live by. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? In this article, we present to you some of the famous George Carlin Quotes on Government, Marriage, Love, Life, Religion, Death, Voting, Freedom, Politics and More with their meaning. The people are fucked! George Carlin, 80. The planet is fine. Just daydreaming. The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. Men are often so foolish as to boast and value themselves upon their passions, even those that are most vicious. George Carlin's full name was George Denis Patrick Carlin. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth. If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, 11. Thats exactly what I want you to think. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Just because you got the monkey off your back, doesnt mean the circus has left town. Are these people kidding? To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. We think in language. People forget there is such a thing as memory, and that when a wound heals it leaves a permanent scar that never goes away, but merely fades a little. "https:" : "http:") + You have no choice. I look at war a little. Keep em showing up at those jobs. George Carlin, 81. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Nobody owns anything. "Events.Namespace": "csa", I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.George Carlin, When youre born into this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show. George Carlin Quotes Government George Carlin American Comedian born on May 12, 1937, died on June 22, 2008 George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. // Im completely in favour of the separation of Church and State. They never mention that part to us, do they? George Carlin, 50. If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin, 32. Its so fuckin heroic.George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.George Carlin, If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?George Carlin, I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? googletag.pubads().disableInitialLoad(); Aw, hes a comedian. var cookie = cookies[i]; Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. It doesnt only represent the good things. And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. They own everything. He was regarded as an influential and significant comic of all time. " Forget the politicians. stylesheet.type = "text/css"; The people are fucked. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. I hate groups of people. Apparently, were not ready for that! George Carlin, 72. Carlin is well-known for pivoting from a strait-laced, suit-and-tie approach to standup in the late 1960s and early . We have the war on crime, the war on cancer, the war on drugs. page: {requestId: "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", meaningful: "interactive"} The less said about it the better. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reasonGeorge Carlin, They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. How are YOU going to tackle today? We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. They've long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear.