Which probably makes you wonder why I came here in the first place. This was a relationship BTW not a marriage. I'm not sure if you are trying to be helpful, or just entertaining yourself with your responses. I gave up playing tennis with him. No matter how much we insist that "it's all good, bro, we're like, totally homies!", we don't mean it, not really. It didn't feel real. This guy wouldnt take money from me (I should have seen this as a Red Flag, but didnt), so I bought him opera scores in order to compensate him for his time and expertise. I noticed him kinda touching my hand a bit but I didn't pull away. Yes one should take care of themselves before getting drunk. Take action instead of ruminating in guilt. The last person you should be talking to about your feelings of guilt is your partner. My eyes were closed and my head was spinning. I am deeply shocked this has happened and I don't know who to turn to for help. Please help. Hi SoulMate! Fear holds you back. I kissed my husbands best friend while we were drunk, well no, he kissed me My boyfriend was drunk and let his friend sleep between us. He's seemingly petrified I'm going to throw him out, he's cried three times today already and they're only the second time I've ever seen him cry in four years. Funny, I have never gotten amorous when I have had too much to drink. I calmly told him that I wasnt in love with him, but I did feel some attraction and that I accepted the liquor and the kiss because I was curious to find out if there was anything between us. Better safe than sorry. Being married is something that can be quite complicated at times. I did say gateway to sex at first didn't I. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Psychology and the Mystery of the "Poisoned" Schoolgirls. I think a real man actually kisses a dude at least once to really know your sexuality, one says. I said to my husband, I have something to tell you, but I dont know how to say it.. Kissing is the gateway to sex or part of sex. When I woke up yesterday I still felt drunk but the reality of what happened hit me like a tonne of bricks. I certainly wouldnt throw him under the bus -just yet. The video shows twogayguys(fellow vloggers Jordan Jayro and James Butler) partner with four straight men togive them their first man-to-mansnog. My SO and I had been dating two years. We were good friends for a few years and have dated in the past but nothing serious. And I know himhad it made him feel the slightest bit threatened and worried, either he'd have said so there and then, or, if for some reason hadn't felt capable, would have shown in his behaviour at some point (I was watching for it regardless). This post is probably the most intelligent and insightful posts Ive seen on this site. find me on and follow me on. Whoever did it, doesnt matter. Past is something you cannot change. Even though it took her a while to make that choice, she both never recognized her role and then made a series of bad choices after. Though somehow I think there might have been trouble in the marriage. I could list so many reasons why, but instead Ill just list a few. If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. Please tell me I will stop feeling like this. I wouldn't want him around the person. Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! You just never, ever know. I totally regret my actions and cannot bear to tell my boyfriend. And now you - who finds trust difficult - have been tempted to do your OWN test (already commencedwhilst drunk), approached via the psychological end. But you sounded like you were willing to take it farther with him,and risk it all. a wiz veteran at Relationship Talk. You kissed a guy - Possibly unforgivable. Do you? Other way around. I didnt want to cheat on him and I made up my mind it wouldnt happen again. The guilt may be strong because you doubt yourself right now and were surprised by your actions. It was such a weird experience. Hello, TheBestAdvice: Im glad you thought my post was intelligent and that you could relate to it. Iam a bisexual man and kissing a female is a different feeling then with a male. We were chatting when we realised the other woman was snoring. There's nothing wrong with feeling an attraction to another person when you're in a relationship. The 5 Ingredients of an Effective Apology, The Power of a Dream: The Customs Inspector, 3 High-Risk Relationship Concerns No Couple Should Ignore, Eliminating Guilt, Shame, Regret, and Worry, Protecting the Innocent: The Cognitive Context of Guilt, How to Deal with Breakup Guilt in a Healthy Way. Kissed another man four years ago and NOW feeling guilty. I'm not sure how long we were there when one of the women decided to call it a night, and left in a taxi. The guilt may be strong because you doubt yourself right now and were surprised by your actions. He doesn't deserve to be hurt by this. If I ws on ur place I would never have told him because he loves me so much and respect me so much and really trust me like anything and if you are guilty and try to relieve ur guilt by telling him still doesn't prove to be beneficial for you and other than that it creates a doubt in his heart that would be very mych lowering The respect he has in his heart for you. get into counselling. Just, why leave yourself open if you don't have to. lover. Certainly, that's what I myself meant and expected you to quote Bienne as more or less echoing. Remind her of your good points. :-). This recently happened to me. In essence . You went and MARRIED someone who was your best FRIEND, not your Bam!, Pow!, "oh my god there is a god!" Right,undoubtedly you didn't say what Tillybops wanted to hear. So if for some reason he'd got funny about it, I'd have just dealt with it. A Sorry Soulmate I know I need to stop,but it's hard to. Which may not seem like a big deal for some of you. I see this as two issues. Wife of 8 years straddled and flirted with my friend last night while drunk My Girlfriend Kissed Another Guy whilst Black-Out Drunk. To be honest, my stomach is sick with the thoughts of the whole thing. Scopes: okay, although the whole point of forums is [1] that they're anonymous and [2] people's problems aren't ever remotely unique enough for the poster not to potentially be literally from anywhere in the world thus unidentifiable. I think it is a better idea for both of you good luck.do share progress. It takes to heal the wounded trust again. Once my tennis coach misread me, came into my house, and gave a peck on my cheeks, in India, kissing is not a social gesture. Be the adult here. (*'I know, your right, it's just I'm really attracted to you and couldn't not act on it, I'm sorry, you're right'. Can Humans Detect Text by AI Chatbot GPT? My piano teacher didnt behave like his normal, reserved self and he made suggestive comments to me. I could tell that he had a thing for you. Now that you got drunk, you feel justified in kissing that person because you got drunk and couldnt help yourself. Own your truth- You did not expect to hear the REAL TRUTH and the RIGHT ADVICE. :-*. If you think that straight guys are too macho to experiment with same-sex kissing, then yourewrong. "I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person'" Forget about it! What you're doing might FEEL easier, but that's you making the mistake too many others make, which is paying heed only to the *short* term, meanwhile risking leaving that bud to grow unseen into a thorn bush Generally people dont care when it happens with others but when it happens with them, they may react very differently because human are emotional creatures. A few people here will recommend MC but it really depends on what you can tolerate. Tico Franklin, now 40, faced the death . When you're in a long-term relationship, it's normal to have a little crush on someone other than your partner. My wife wants to leave because of this. The way I see things, there are innocent kisses, which occur when a person had too much to drink, and then there are guilty kisses, which are precipitated by getting drunk. I knew this was wrong but my brain wasn't working properly. Oh yes he has cried a help of a lot. He encouraged me to to ring for a taxi from his house which I did. Press J to jump to the feed. I took the ride. Amazing how long this subject has carried on. . like, by not investing his heart too much via (wait for it) an optimum amount of kisses and cuddles, etc? Sometimes it doesnt help to tell your partner everything. I'm 5 years married to my best friend. Thank you soulmate,but I'm getting over those issues. My husband went ballistic and said, I just knew something like this was going to happen. In that sort of scenario, where the kiss (or any intimate contact) lingers for more than half a second - or, put more simply, isn't the kind you'd feel comfortable giving/receiving from your own parent or grandparent - it's an opening of the door, whether or not you subsequently recover your senses and slam it shut again. Unforeseeable consequence. Jam, your wife holds the cards. If he's like meI can forgive the actbut not the lying. I believe that its a good thing to fess up when kissing someone you care about when you drank too much could threaten your existing relationship. Don't have an account? Saying that, however, I note you wrote: The marriage itself trying to keep his father and the community happy, and just get my husband to consider the rest of the job force he worked in and the many his wants would affect with UAW seniority for a big three auto plant. Best to start your own thread, like I say, if you want, where you could 'whistle while you work' to your heart's content. It's just a "good weekend?" Have another little thinkipoos (with or without a little drinkipoos). He left and went to the lake. Nooooo, surely not. It's not the crime that counts, it's the time. I've been Dating a married Albanian man for 6 months already and NOT proud of it.Just wanna share my, Hurt my ex girlfriend, feel guilty and don't know what to do. Then he kissed me, and I kissed him back. I know true remorse when I see it. If you don't figure this out OP, it will happen again. I feel like I am hypnotized by the guy. (Ta-daaaa!) I mean that in a funny way. Thank you. male One day, he came over with a bottle of whisky and he had already been drinking. Not just, here's your marriage license good luck. Most people don't confess- You ask for advice of what you should do- you got the RIGHT advice. But, I did find out that I was attracted to my piano teacher. And he kissed me and I reciprocated. "what the hell where we at?" My husband always encouraged me to pursue music, and, when I told him that this guy wanted to give me advanced piano lessons, my husband was in favor of this. If I could go back in time I would because my SO is truly the best person out there.